Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Other / Professional Premium Member RéJeanJapan Group :iconconceptartists: Conceptartists
Recent Activity
Deviant for 12 Years
5 Month Premium Membership:
Given by InspiringEX
Statistics 595 Deviations 3,784 Comments 1,050,591 Pageviews





kasai's Profile Picture
Artist | Professional | Other
Aliases: kasai(X3), MastadonX3, leJean(X3)
Current Residence: Tokyo, Japan
Current work: Illustration for smartphone games.

*I will not do comics for hire. If I do comics, it will be my own stories. If its commission related work, I might be free depending on my schedule.

I dont think Ive ever spilled anything personal in my journal before but I somewhat feel the need to. Ive been feeling burned out with low motivation for doing artwork and I hate myself for it.
Balance between art for work and personal work has been rocky, and money has been scarce. The amount I work vs. reward has been way off balance. 

I feel stuck between either, going back to doing extra company artwork for money, which will leave me no energy for personal works, or I keep going as is. In July, I did a little more extra artwork to add more money to the paycheck but that last week drained the crap out of me. Adding to the work vs. reward, I just havent been happy with quality of my work. 

A lot of bullshit creeps into the mind, past regret, fear for the future, not accepting my current circumstance, overwhelming feelings, impatience etc. Im in constant battle with my own thoughts where I almost always lose. I feel like Im losing the joy of it all slowly.  

Looking at the things to be grateful for, Im a foreigner who works in Tokyo as a card game illustrator for smartphones, I get to draw all day which is much better than what I was doing before, I have a roof over my head, I have money to at least buy food, I still have my hands. Between Patreon and Gumroad, its helped a bit with the money situation. I really thank all my supporters.

I feel somewhat of an asshole for sharing my 1st world problems. But even so, the thought of having lost my motivation scares the crap out of me. I just want it back.
Looking around for motivation articles, this one in particular struck a cord with me-->Killing the 7 motivational murderers…
Im getting murdered by just about all of them. I hope I can put this into practice.  

EDIT: I wanted to add that I still want to work towards my goals(the logical brain I guess), but when I sit down to actually start something, the joy is only half there. Discipline and motivation seem to be conflicting along with all the BS going through my head. 

About commissions
I apologize for this, but Im going to have to decline anybody who asked for a rough colour commission before the close. I totally underestimated the time it would take to finish each one and it just doesnt equal the amount of money. Im thinking of giving you guys a free item off my store as an apology. Though slowly, I will continue with anybody who asked for sketch/lined commission. 

  • Listening to: Elliot Hulse
  • Reading: Motivation articles
  • Watching: NA
  • Playing: Life (not the board game)
  • Eating: Convenient store food
  • Drinking: water



Add a Comment:
midnightc10 Featured By Owner May 16, 2015  Student Digital Artist
Hey! You have amazing talent and thank you for posting your works here. For years, if I had a problem drawing proportions I would check back at your artwork for inspiration. You inspire me to want to be a better artist. The way you draw anatomy and faces is amazing. Thanks again!
R0K-MO Featured By Owner May 13, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Congrats man on the 1,000,000 VIEWS!!! POWER UP MAN!!! 
kasai Featured By Owner May 24, 2015  Professional Artist
Thanks Reg! Now charging my power!
meowmeowmelody Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2015  Student Digital Artist
Wow, your art is amazing! You've got a beautiful colouring style.
ShouYume Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2015
Please forgive my fav bombing; I concede your excellent artistic skills!
DoctorSoull Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Damn, you're good. :o
kurocard Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Awesome works man :D
mynameiscaleb Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
Great Work, man! 
Brother-Tico Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2015  Professional Artist
Awesome art!
RoninOfTheEast Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2015
I swear some of these sketches blow my mind while others just turn me down.
chr85esp Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Impressive sketches! Oops! 
anakure Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Amazing gallery!

Your style is awesome!
StriderSoryu Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
Special awesome work, you are very talented.
Psycadela Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Awesome work! You have just got yourself a watcher! :)
Spacegryphon Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Inspiring gallery!
Namonn Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2015  Student Filmographer
WOAH ....OKAY .....I just trying to understand how this happened watch me ?! and .....I feel really flattered ,thank you very much ,you have an amazing gallery,and i'm happy that I discovered you !
kasai Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2015  Professional Artist
Your sketches are boss and I can see a lot of energy and emotion in them! Makes me question what Im doing with my life haha.

Likewise, you have great work and Im glad that I stumbled across your gallery!!
Namonn Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2015  Student Filmographer
awww, man this is tooo kind ,really,I'm touched soo much by every single words you wrote ;_; don't deserve it ! 
thank you ,I can return you all the compliments ,your art works,designs and sketches are amazing ;A; )9 thanks again !! 
ColdAardvark Featured By Owner Edited Mar 5, 2015  Student
I don't think this is anything you have not heard, but your work is very good. I feel inspired by it honestly.

I've been studying art and I've realized that I really love story and motion told in imagery, and a vast majority of your work make me intrigued or smile. More specifically, I couldn't help but chuckle at the astronaut who forgot his helmet. Very well played.

I also noticed your preliminary sketches, the Super tiny ones to test pose and composition, and I realized I was coming up with a few questions that I just have to ask.

How often do you use those preliminary \ planning mini sketches? I'm sure it depends on the piece but I am curious how useful it's been to you.

And if it's not too much trouble, for someone who's pretty new to art, I've been having trouble with getting the upper body or more, the ribs in the right place, as well as I struggle with legs. I'm certain this is due to a lack of experience on my part (no shieeet...) but if it's not to much trouble, would you happen to have advice for how legs attatch or work with the hips, as well as ribs and upper? Perhaps I should draw some actual skeletons...

Anyway, thank you for the art you've submitted, I'm following you now, for sure you're an artist I admire!

Have a great day!
kasai Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2015  Professional Artist
note sent!
gentleEvan Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2015
Your art is so......Wow beautifully epic.
kasai Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2015  Professional Artist
I appreciate your comment!
gentleEvan Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2015
You are most welcome.
knightmare75 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2015
Hi I wanna ask whatever happen to that demo reel I kinda wanna watch it again?
kasai Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2015  Professional Artist
Its still there. I had created a folder for it a while back.
Demo Reel 2006 by kasai
Add a Comment: